The sun is shining right onto my face through the window. If I close my eyes everything is red behind them. I could be on the sea shore sitting on a rock with barnacles sticking into my feet. And so there I am. Looking at the beach and the sea, with my legs stretched out and a book by my side I consider whether I am happy here.

It's peaceful.

But I am not happy because I know that when I go back to my hut, you will not be there. There will be no letter from you, and I will not be having coffee with you again soon. I will not call you to tell you about the idea I had about time and space or about my worries about death that I had when I woke from my nap.

So the beauty of the beach and the sun and sky is mocking me. So I am going to open my eyes and come back to my office and not go there anymore.